When I was supposed to be slaying the dragon, I accidentally started cultivating immortality

Imperial capital, Nibelungen.

In a dim underground cave illuminated only by tiny golden stars, the blue-black Dragon King lay on a platform that had been magnified many times. There was an honest TV in front of him, and the huge membrane wing behind it was placed on the ground. Lu Ming Fei sat on the ground and leaned on the membrane wing, and Su Xiaoqiang sat in Lu Mingfei's arms. Stephen Chow's Westward Journey was playing on the TV. The light and shadow on the screen hit the faces of Lu Mingfei and Su Xiaoqiang, and also hit Fenrir's scales. Above, the brilliance keeps changing.

Su Xiaoqiang had watched this movie a long time ago, and so had Lu Mingfei, the dragon king who calls himself Fenrir - he said he had watched it hundreds of times.

Fenrir and Lu Mingfei stared at the TV screen attentively, like two children secretly watching TV with the lights off late at night, but they were much more arrogant than the children, and they burst into exaggerated laughter.

What went wrong? Aren’t we here to slay the dragon?

Su Xiaoqiang fell into deep thought.

In her contemplation, the plot of the movie continues to move forward at a fixed pace.

"The man I love is an unparalleled hero. One day he will come to marry me on the colorful clouds. I guessed right, but I couldn't guess the ending..."

"Woooo..."

On the screen, Fairy Zixia closed her eyes completely in the arms of Supreme Treasure, and a low and suppressed cry came from the huge and empty underground space.

Although it was a cry, the cry was like a storm echoing in the deep valley. It was loud and powerful, and it was definitely not a sound that humans could make.

Su Xiaoqiang glanced at Fenrir. It seemed to be covered with a mask, and its face was full of majestic and sharp bony protrusions. It could not express sadness, but it was obvious that tears were sliding down the concave gaps of those bony protrusions.

It is estimated that Lu Mingfei will taunt Fenrir soon. When the two of them quarrel, Su Xiaoqiang feels that his ears will suffer again.

However, after waiting for a short while, Lu Mingfei did not make any sarcasm. Su Xiaoqiang raised her head and looked at him with some confusion, only to find that he was looking thoughtfully at Fenrir who was crying.

Lu Mingfei stared at Fenrir. Tears gathered and diverged along the grooves on the dark bones like a mask, and finally fell on the ground, soaking the platform. The Dragon King, who had the same IQ as a child, could not make any expression, but Anyone could see his sadness in those tears.

Can dragons also be sad? And you still shed tears for a movie you’ve watched hundreds of times? Not to mention a monarch sitting on the throne, it's a bit embarrassing for an adult to cry so thinly, right?

But Fenrir doesn't care about this. He is like a child. He laughs when he sees Ancestor Bodhi taking out his true body, and howls when he sees Zixia die in the arms of the Supreme Treasure. Can this be considered a dragon? ?

If all the dragon-slaying warriors of the past generations had to face this kind of thing and sacrificed their lives, wouldn’t it be a bit unfair?

The warrior sharpened his sword and put on his armor, kissed his wife's lips and children's cheeks, wiped away their tears with his thumbs, and then left a suicide note. He carried a sword with a shiny snow-white blade and stepped out with other dragon-slaying warriors who were bidding farewell to their families. On the journey, he passed through the deep forest and stepped into the vast sandy plains. Finally, carrying a curled-edged sword, he waded through a swamp full of poisonous snakes and came to a cave. At the entrance of the cave, he heard a sound that sounded like crying and laughing inside. The warrior They looked at each other and stepped onto the top of the mountain with determination to die. After a thousand twists and turns in the darkness, they saw a baby dragon king as big as a sperm whale watching "Westward Journey 2".

I wonder if the warriors will collapse and start to doubt their beliefs and then go home overnight to undress and return to the field, with their wives and children on the bed.

Lu Mingfei felt that the real dragon was really embarrassing, but he was not qualified to laugh at Fenrir.

When I was a freshman in high school, the school organized an event to show the first part of Westward Journey to the students. Lu Mingfei and his classmates were sitting on the playground at night, carrying stools. The stars were thin above their heads, and there were always people in the team patrolling with flashlights to check for snacks. "Picket".

Lu Mingfei was sitting in the second row, and he could vaguely hear the sound of the film rolling in the projector at the front. Su Xiaoqiang was sitting next to him, with a bulging bag filled with various snacks. She would grab a handful every time the picket team passed by. Lu Mingfei stuffed snacks into her mouth. While watching TV, Lu Mingfei could hear Su Xiaoqiang chewing snacks. She ate it herself, but also took Lu Mingfei to eat. Every time she stuffed the last quarter of a bag of snacks. Give it to Lu Mingfei. Lu Mingfei ate the rest and put the bag into his pocket. In this way, the little goddess transferred the evidence, Lu Mingfei also got snacks, and everyone got what they needed.

When Lu Mingfei went back after watching the movie, his uncle came to pick him up for the first time. It turned out that his uncle won a lot of money buying scratch tickets. He took his aunt and Lu Mingze out for a good meal in the evening and said that he originally wanted to take Lu Mingfei with him. We went together, but Lu Mingfei didn’t ask him to go to the movie-watching event organized by his grade. He wanted to go there tomorrow but Lu Mingze couldn’t wait to make a noise like a magpie, so they could only pack the food they finished in the restaurant and bring it back to Lu Mingfei to warm. As soon as it became popular, his uncle bought him a quartz watch equipped with electronics.

Lu Mingfei took the watch at the school gate and said thank you, uncle. He thought to himself, if the magpie grew into the size of Lu Mingze, would it still be able to fly? If it flies up and then falls down, does it count as an air accident if it kills someone?

The uncle walked in front, taking him to where he parked his car. A bunch of car keys buzzed around his waist. Lu Mingfei followed his uncle and secretly stepped on his shadow cast by the street light. In the distance, there were parents educating their children: "You Why can't Lu Mingfei follow the example of Lu Mingfei and follow the adults at home? Why is he running around like a monkey every day and disappearing like a monkey?

When Lu Mingfei came home, his aunt just brought the last plate of hot dishes to the table. Big fish, big meat, big elbows, and most of the plump foie gras with neat cuts. The aunt said that his uncle had won the lottery and asked Lu Ming kindly. Fei wanted a gift. Lu Mingfei said that the school showed a movie called Westward Journey today, but only the first part was shown. There is a second part of this movie. I won’t go to school tomorrow. Can I watch it at home tonight? ?

Auntie waved her hand and said, no problem. Lu Mingze's notebook will be yours tonight. She turned around and held Lu Mingze's ear and asked if you can learn from Lu Mingfei. Your dad won the scratch-off lottery but he didn't win. Shuangseqiu, you want new sneakers, a mobile phone, and a trip to BJ, why don’t you go to heaven?

Later, Lu Mingze wore new sneakers and a new mobile phone and went to BJ's. Lu Mingfei happily watched the second half of Westward Journey with his laptop in the living room.

In order to restore the atmosphere on the playground, he sat in the living room and turned off the lights when his uncle and aunt Lu Mingze fell asleep. The light from the computer screen reflected on his face. He laughed quietly and cried quietly along with the movie. When Fairy Zixia died in the arms of Supreme Treasure, he felt that he was really cheap. Why did he have to watch the second half? If he didn't see it, wouldn't he know that Fairy Zixia would die?

At that time, he felt that the Supreme Treasure was really a waste. He became the Monkey King and had unlimited powers. He wore golden holy armor and stepped on colorful auspicious clouds, but he could not be with the girl he loved. In the end, he had her stabbed to death by the Bull Demon King. In his arms.

So what if you become the Monkey King in the end? So what if you have great powers? The girl you like has died in your arms. You gave the Bull Demon King a concussion with a golden cudgel, beat him like a ball, and finally beat him to death, but your girl will never come back after all. No matter who you kill, she will not survive. If you kill all the Bull Demon King's men, you will only bury her with her. Even if you can burn the whole world, you will only bury the whole world with her.

You are wearing golden armor and stepping on colorful clouds, but the girl who regards you as the one she loves has closed her eyes forever. She can no longer see your golden armor and colorful clouds.

But Lu Mingfei thought carefully that he was not as good as the Supreme Treasure. In the end, the Supreme Treasure put on golden armor and stepped on the colorful clouds and let his beloved girl see it. However, he could only sit on the sofa in the living room and watch movies, even looking for Chen Wenwen doesn't even have the courage to talk about movies.

Lu Mingfei thought a lot about the Internet that day. Now he only remembers that he cried quietly when he watched Zixia die in the arms of Zhizunbao. His vision was so blurry that he could not see the computer screen clearly. There was only one stupid person in the dark living room. The naive child burst into tears watching a movie from the 1990s, and the fluorescent light from the computer screen made the tear stains on his face shine.

It's as dark as the living room. The light emitted by the old TV screen is almost the same as that of the laptop. Even the tear stains illuminated by fluorescent lights seem inexplicably similar.

Has he been watching TV like this in the dark, crying and laughing?

In the plot of the old TV, Sun Wukong beat up the Bull Demon King violently. After Zixia died, he bit down on the Bull Demon King like a wild beast and tore off a piece of flesh. Maybe he was really mad. The golden cudgel is obviously better than teeth. Yes, but when you bite it, it relieves your qi better than a stick.

Fenrir watched the movie intently.

"The Bull Demon King is so hateful."

Lu Mingfei said softly.

"The Bull Demon King is so hateful!" Fenrir agreed in agreement, and his mood suddenly became happy - this was the first time someone told him that the Bull Demon King was hateful, and his sister always dealt with him.

Fenrir threw a bag of potato chips to Lu Mingfei and said grandly, "I've given them all to you." Lu Mingfei opened the bag of potato chips, grabbed a large handful and handed them to Fenrir, "Give you half." .

Su Xiaoqiang blinked, wondering where the two mentally retarded children met the radio waves again.

…

"Okay, the movie is over, it's time for us to go."

Lu Mingfei and Su Xiaoqiang stood up.

Fenrir turned his head towards them: "I have other toys."

"But we don't have time to play anymore," Lu Mingfei shook his head, "We still have things to do, so we can't play all the time."

"My sister always says she has something to be busy with," Fenrir asked, "What's more important than playing and watching TV?"

elder sister? Where did you get your sister? You are not the elder brother in King of Earth and Mountain... Oh, that's right, your intelligence is only five years old, so it seems normal to call your sister sister.

"I can't tell you this, but I will come again in the future," Lu Mingfei said, "How about I bring you a game console then?"

"Yeah." Fenrir nodded.

After a moment of hesitation, its wingtips swept forward from behind, and two delicate and beautiful tin soldiers drew a parabola and fell towards Lu Mingfei and Su Xiaoqiang. Lu Mingfei and Su Xiaoqiang reached out to catch them.

"Gift," said Fenrir in a low voice, "don't throw him into the furnace."

A fairy tale about the tin soldier? Lu Mingfei was stunned for a moment and nodded.

Fenrir nodded with satisfaction.

…

At dawn, in a hotel in the imperial capital, in the room of Lu Mingfei and Su Xiaoqiang.

"So we're back like this?" Su Xiaoqiang complained with empty eyes, "You didn't forget about business just because you found a playmate with a matching IQ, right?"

"First of all, our IQs don't match, and my cheating will never be noticed by others," Lu Mingfei explained. "Secondly, if you think about it, Fenrir is half connected to the wall, so what about his snacks? Where did the toys, toys and TVs come from? And Constantine didn't tell me that Fenrir was half-disabled - on the contrary, regardless of IQ factors, just in terms of power and strength, Fenrir was eight The monarch who is closest to the concept of 'complete', he cannot be half disabled, and if you want to make him like this, in theory, almost no dragon except the Black King and the White King can do it."

"Hiss... you mean..." Su Xiaoqiang made a bold guess.

"If my guess is correct, Fenrir's sister, well, the sister he calls is the one who imprisoned him in the Nibelungs."

"Constantine said that the power of a dragon can be transferred by devouring. A monarch can complete himself by devouring another monarch. A prince can become a new monarch by devouring a monarch. A duke can become a new monarch by devouring a prince. Called the new prince," Lu Mingfei said, "She imprisoned Fenrir in the Nibelungs. Imprisonment is also a protection - to protect this intellectually defective monarch from being devoured by other monarchs."

"Then since she could imprison Fenrir, why didn't she just devour Fenrir to make up for herself?" Su Xiaoqiang was puzzled.

"Well...probably, it's because I'm afraid of being alone." Lu Mingfei said.

"Are dragons afraid of loneliness? I read in a book that dragons are lonely. I thought they were not afraid of loneliness."

"Yes, loneliness is a very scary thing," Lu Mingfei said, "It's like watching a movie in the living room with the lights turned off at night. The only thing that makes you cry is the light from the movie screen."

…

The next morning, Lu Mingfei and Su Xiaoqiang had just walked to the wedding rehearsal venue when they heard Su Jinye's exaggerated shouting inside.

"What? There was a car accident?"

Lu Mingfei and Su Xiaoqiang looked at each other and walked in together. As soon as they entered, they saw Su Jinye holding a mobile phone to her ear with anxious expressions on her face.

When Su Jinye hung up the phone, Lu Mingfei asked doubtfully, "What's wrong?"

"Alas, another group of groomsmen and bridesmaids had a car accident," Su Jinye sighed, "Didn't Yun Si and I think it would be more auspicious to find two couples to be groomsmen and bridesmaids, so we found her best friend and her Boyfriend, there was a car accident when the two of them were driving together. Fortunately, there were airbags, so both of them were not seriously injured. Yun Si has already rushed to the hospital."

"Can... can you still come to the wedding?" Lu Mingfei asked.

"If the guests don't mind that the best man and groomsmen have bandages on their heads and plasters on their arms," ​​Su Jinye sighed, "I would have known better not to make the wedding process so complicated. The wedding will be the day after tomorrow, and now we have to find a new best man. We only have a day and a half to rehearse with the bridesmaids at most, and a day and a half is not enough time for the newlyweds to rehearse, so this is going to be very troublesome."

Perhaps because they don’t have to worry about betrothal gifts, houses, cars and other things that would exhaust ordinary people, Su Jinye and Jiang Yunsi focused more on the wedding itself and hired a first-class wedding company to organize it. The wedding process was quite complicated—— Lu Mingfei called this being poor.

But now there is a problem - because the process is too complicated, it took three days of rehearsal for the previous best man and bridesmaid to basically master the entire process. If a new pair is replaced temporarily, one and a half days of rehearsal time may not be enough. Remember this complicated process, it will be great fun if something unexpected happens during the wedding.

As for temporarily making the process simpler... To be honest, this is more troublesome.

"Forget it, at best it's enough to have you as the best man and bridesmaid," Su Jinye sighed helplessly, "It's true that life has its blessings. Who would have thought that in just these few days, that couple would be able to have such a good relationship? There was a car accident, but fortunately everyone is fine..."

"Hmm... If I want to temporarily change the groomsmen and bridesmaids, I have two candidates," Lu Mingfei thought for a moment and suggested, "There is no need to change the process. The two people I know can do it just by rehearsing it." Master the process very well.”

"You don't mean..." Su Xiaoqiang's eyes widened.

"Yes." Lu Mingfei nodded.

"Then it all depends on you," Su Jinye patted Lu Mingfei on the shoulder, "Whether Yun Si and I can hold the wedding almost as smoothly as planned, it all depends on you!"

"Don't worry, leave it to me."

As long as you don't mind that both groomsmen are handsomer than you and both bridesmaids are prettier than Sister Yun Si, that's fine.

Lu Mingfei took out his mobile phone and made two calls one after another.

"Hello? Is this Junior Sister Xia Mi? Xiaoqiang's cousin is getting married, do you have time to be the bridesmaid? What? Work-study program? There's a red envelope, five digits! And Senior Brother Chu will also come... Hey, hey, you Don't yell, I know you agreed, don't yell, I'll send you the address, come here quickly."

"Hello? Senior Brother Chu, please help us! I've booked a flight for you. Come to BJ as soon as possible. I have something very important that I need your help with!"

"Done." Lu Mingfei clapped his hands.

"By the way," Su Jinye suddenly remembered something and asked quickly, "Are you looking for a couple? Because the wedding company originally planned based on the premise of two couples, the best man and the bridesmaid, so many processes and games are It was arranged on the premise that we are a couple, and it would be very embarrassing if we were not a couple.”

"You make it sound like I haven't rehearsed, and I'm very familiar with this process, right?" Lu Mingfei complained, and then vowed, "Don't worry, the two people I found will never pass this process. question."

"That's good."